When I was in my twenties, I was in love with a woman who had two children. One of her children; her daughter, had been traumatized by a man she had a relationship with previously – rather badly so. The little girl was only three years old; she clearly had PTSD, and also had herpes. At age early-twenties, I knew only compassion for the woman I was with and her children. I was working as a C.N.A., but also for a local bakery on the side at the time.

The little girl had a number of, ‘triggers,’ that prompted certain behaviors, something I had no concept of at the time. Neither did her mother for that matter. Her younger brother was still wearing diapers and was as innocent as they get. Their mother, the woman I was in love with at the time, had been beaten by her former relationship and had manic-depressive illness. I have had epilepsy since the age of eighteen when I had a heat stroke as I had my birthday at Fort Sill, Oklahoma while in the service.

There came a day when I pulled into the driveway outside our home, covered in bread dough and flour, tired as could be after working at the bakery. When I came through the door, our little girl was throwing things and screaming at the top of her lungs. Remember – she was three years old at the time. The woman I loved had her hands on her shoulders and was trying to calm her down; our little girl was hitting her.

Despite being hit and kicked, her mother picked her up, put her in her lap as she sat on the floor, and crossed her legs over her daughters. She crossed her arms over her daughters, restraining her. Her daughter continued to scream. Our little girl did not cry; it was sheer rage. To this day I don’t know what happened to start this. I asked what happened, and the woman I loved said, ‘I don’t know.’ I tried to calm our daughter down, to no avail, over a period of time.

Our son was crying and clearly upset, so I went to care for him and attempt to comfort him as best I could. When I came back into the kitchen our daughter was still screaming and writhing at full-force. I asked if this had happened before, and the woman I loved told me it had. She was crying, and didn’t know what to do. I was young, stupid, uneducated – I didn’t know what to do either. I took her place on the kitchen floor, being hit, kicked; screamed and yelled at by our daughter all the way. I told the woman I loved to call Child Protective Services for some help; maybe they knew what to do; our daughter simply wasn’t calming down no matter how much we tried, or what we did.

Long story short – Child Protective Services took our daughter away. She was adopted by the foster family she was placed with, and the woman I loved had a complete mental breakdown. I don’t know where any of the family members I once loved are today. At age early-twenties, prior to any educational efforts other than a G.E.D. and a Certified Nursing Assistant course through the Job Corp Center; I was clearly unprepared and unfit for such a relationship as I had approached.

Is it so wrong for me to suggest that as I read headlines today, at age forty-five, having completed a Masters, Bachelors, and two Associate degrees, regarding the inappropriate restraint of children with disabilities – that the supposed, ‘educators,’ in America who:

*Shove children with disabilities face-down on the floor
*Expel children for minor behavioral issues
*Call the police department for behavioral issues
*Isolate children with disabilities in inappropriate places for hours

And other methods of equally inappropriate restraint and isolation of children with disabilities are inadequately educated and ignorant? I don’t think it is wrong of me to suggest such a thing, and for this reason I am very pleased to find legislation being passed that prohibits such things. As a person who has been handcuffed for the mere act of having a seizure in public, I can understand the fear nondisabled persons experience at times. It does not justify inappropriate restraint and seclusion or ignorance on the part of persons in positions such as educator, law enforcement officer, emergency medical technician, or similar positions.

Tom.